The most painful and beautiful experience in my existence.
11 hours of surreal pain, relief and in the end, a sweet reward.
Maria Vang, editor
I should have gone to bed early. If there is one advice I can give, it's just that. Go to bed early. Get all the sleep you can, because giving birth is like running a marathon. You are going to need all your strength, and then some.
My labour started a Friday night, with my water breaking on the way to the toilet. I called the hospital after some time and some pain, and the woman I talked to eventually agreed that we come in after I used some bad words. Usually I m very polite, but she was asking me a bunch of questions, and I just lost my patience. I cried out f..k you and threw the phone at my husband. She then said to him; "If she's like that, you can just come in". When we got there it turned out I wasn't ready to give birth yet, not open enough, so they sent me back home. We took a taxi and I went to sleep, or so I thought. Instead I started bleeding, and we went straight back in.
Enter phase two. This is the worst memory for me. We were shown into a little room, where both me and the baby was monitored. I was having more and more painful contractions, and my husband was sitting beside me, holding my hand and trying to comfort me.
The worst thing was that the pain was getting stronger and I didn't know how long the whole thing was going to last. I wish someone could have told me that it would soon be over. The idea of time became very important to me. I kept asking "how long until I can push?" And I never seemed to get a straight answer. I also just hated being in my own body and wanted to escape. When I was open enough, we were finally given our own room, where I was to give birth. That was a huge relief. I then met the two lovely young women who stayed with me through the whole experience, supporting me with kind words of encouragement all the way. After a while the doctor came, a small man from Greece. I liked him immediately and he made me feel taken care of. During the course of the delivery the baby's heartrate dropped several times, and my poor husband had the most stressful time of his life. I was in too much pain to be stressed, I had enough with just coping, breathing, and being alive.
When I was finally allowed to push, I gave it my all. It took all my strength, I never worked so hard in my life. Even so, I needed a little help in the end, and the doctor used forceps to help the baby out. Then I gave a final push, and the most beautiful little head with black hair appeared. "Look down at your son" I heard. The experience was so surreal, I couldn't believe he was out in the world with me, finally after all this time. I saw the top of the head but I still couldn't comprehend that the delivery was over. When they laid him on my chest, I was in shock and the most relieved I have ever been. I tried to get him to feed right away, and he did, my little miracle.
Both me and my husband instantly fell in love with the little fellow, and we continue to be amazed by him every day. I am grateful I get to be his mother.